My Botak

Rayyan dah selamat dibotakkan semalam. This is not the best picture to describe Rayyan's botakness but mommy such a bad photographer. Sighhhh.. Sorry son! *You look cuter with hair on your head. But mommy got no choice!*

Love u to death..muahhhh!

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A Mother..

I've been watching a reality show (Tia & Tamera) on tv recently. It's about a twin which one of them is pregnant (Tamera) and one of them is a newly wed (Tia). They are an identical twin but with totally different personality.

But I'm so touch on what Tamera said on that show where she is pregnant and she's having a breech pregnancy for over a month. She's been searching all over the internet on how to makes the baby move and back to normal. She's even hiring a personal trainer to have a regular exercise and hoping the baby will move and back on normal position. But after all the hard work and when she's meet the doctor and she's find out the baby is still breaching. She is so devastated because she is hoping that she will have a normal delivery instead of c-sect.

What makes me touched is when she makes a daily journal where she recorded her daily progress and she said "now I understand what a mother's feeling. A mother want the best for her baby and she willing to do anything to make sure the baby is okay. Well, I knew the baby is doing fine and I'm just being too emotional. But that's how a mother being a mother. She want the best for their children" I was so touched by what she said and I truly understand on how she felt because I'm feeling the same way too.

Remember when I was admitted to the hospital due to my CRITICAL OVERTENSION? To be honest I hate hospital, I'm rarely sick and I've never been warded for the rest of my life! I was crying my heart out when the doctor told me my condition will harm the baby and in fact I was crying because I don't want to be hospitalized. But I think I'll have to do it for the sake of my baby. I'll do whatever it's take to save my baby even I have to give my life for him. I've been doing all the procedure which is totally strange for me. Doing a painful potassium procedure, doing a painful blood test 3 times a day, taking all the medication, I'll just do everything just to make sure my baby is okay. Just like Tamera..

What I like to say is, appreciate your mother even how bad or how hard she is. For me honestly, I always thought my mother is so strict, never understand my feeling and we always have a totally different direction. But now I'm a mother I understand how she felt even tho how hard she's being on me.. During this mothers day, please do something special for your mom. No matter how bad she is, no matter how you feel about your mother, she will always be our mother. No one can replace her..

I love you mak, thanks for all the sacrifices that has you made to rising me. Happy mother's day.

Sent by DiGi from my BlackBerry® Smartphone

Wordless Wednesday : Unexpected Gift

Rayyan received unexpected gift from a friend of mine. Di pos jauhhhhh dari Johor. Thank you so much dear..


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Guilty..

I felt so guilty doing this to my own and only son *for now* BUT I have too.. Or maybe it's too early? Tapi mak cakap kalau tak ajar sekarang nanti lagi susah nak ajar. Oh dear, my son is only 2 weeks old tapi dah nak kena ajar macam-macam. Pity him..


So today menguatkan semangat, perah susu buat stok EBM untuk diberikan kepada Rayyan untuk latihan pertama. Alhamdulillah harini perah dapat 6 oz, first time dapat perah banyak macam ni tapi kena share dengan Nyla sebab Rayyan bukannya habis pun susu sampai 6 oz. Rayyan punya part masuk dalam botol MAM sebab MAM's teat looks like real nipple. So maybe Rayyan can get used to it? Who knows..


By the time post ini ditulis, percubaan pertama gagal sebab Rayyan tengah tidur. Tapi kalau bagi real boob dia minum je dengan selamba. Second attempt pun failed, Rayyan siap kemam mulut ketat-ketat. Haih.. Third attempt sekejap lagi. Will update soon..


A few days ago Rayyan meragam malam-malam. Jenuh bagi susu, sapu perut letak menyak angin, dodoi, zikir, tapi dia tetap meragam. Mula-mula fikir dia ni asyik nak bergayut jeke sebab bila bagi susu dia tak nak lepas. So I decided bagi pacifier also for the first time.. Boleh pulak aku yang menangis, sebab rasa serba salah. Mula-mula Rayyan ok, dia isap slow-slow tapi tak lama lepas tu dia buang. Sumbat sekali lagi pun dia buang.. Macam mana la aku nak pergi kerja ni? Takkan nak suap susu pakai sudu pulak? Alahai..


So kalau korang ada pengalaman yang nak dikongsi, PLEASE DO! Aku seboleh-bolehnya tak nak bagi susu formula kat Rayyan. Tapi tula, macam mana nak bagi dia minum pakai botol? Adakah aku yang terlalu awal? Please share ok.. I would like to know..





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Wordless Wednesday : Rayyan 9 Days Old

Tali Pusat

Hari ini tepat jam 10 malam, tali pusat Rayyan tercabut. Now you're a big boy..


Okbai



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Bila Terkenang..

Bila dah ada anak kecik ni memang jarang la nak update blog. Nak jenguk FB ke, Twitter ke semua pakai handphone je. Sampaikan nak update blog pun pakai email je. Memang tak sempat nak menghadap PC, bukan tak sempat. Tapi dah takde hati! Tu la penangan anak kecil.


Harini Rayyan dah 7 hari so far Rayyan jaundice free, darah tinggi aku pun dah back to normal, perut pun dah slim sikit. Eh?


Hari-hari tak puas tengok muka Rayyan. Rasa macam tak percaya aku ni dah ada anak. The best gift in the whole entire world. Tapi kadang-kadang bila terkenang saat mengandungkan Rayyan 9 bulan yang penuh dengan cabaran. Haritu sempat berborak dengan suami, menangis kami berdua bila teringatkan betapa susah payah dugaan kami tempuh. Pada masa tu jugak aku sarat mengandung, tapi aku ingat janji Allah bahawa Dia hanya menguji seseorang mengikut kemampuan seseorang itu. Walaupun aku rasa berat sangat ujian-ujian tu tapi sebenarnya aku mampu.


Bila tengok muka Rayyan aku rasa macam tak percaya je. Selama ni aku harung jerih perit hidup seorang di KL tanpa suami di sisi, mengheret budak kecik ni ke hulu hilir, sampaikan disahkan cronic hypertension oleh doctor. What have I've done to myself? To my baby? I've almost killed my baby. Tahap darah tinggi yang ada pada diri aku boleh membunuh anak dalam kandungan aku. I'm so sorry sayang..


Bila Rayyan lahir hilang semua sakit ketika mengandungkan Rayyan. Masa kat dalam wad pun doctor dah stop medication sebab everything's back to normal. Rayyan pun takde kena jaundice syukur alhamdulillah susu badan keluar. Walaupun tak banyak tapi cukup untuk Rayyan. In fact rasa amazed sangat Rayyan boleh menyusu sebaik sahaja dilahirkan. Subhanallah.. Besarnya kuasa Allah.


Oklah, tak nak la cerita panjang-panjang. Ketika entry ini ditulis pun air mata rasa nak bergenang. Banyak sangat benda nak cerita. Tapi tunggu badan betul-betul sihat, Rayyan tidur lena, ada hati nak bukak PC baru la boleh cerita panjang lebar.


See you later, Assalamualaikum..

Introducing..

Introducing Mohammad Rizq Rayyan born on 2nd April 2012 at 10.50pm with 3.19kg. Nampak macam kecik tapi terasa la jugak berat. Be a good son okay.. Taknak nakal-nakal, taknak nangis kuat-kuat. Mama and ayah love you so much! Muahhhhhh